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With a brand new year suddenly upon us, many of us will be looking ahead, perhaps setting New Year’s Resolutions or jotting down a few goals we’d like to accomplish. The million dollar question is will we really achieve our goals or not? According to the ancient Mayans, we’ve just ended a 26,500 year cycle in time. Talk about new beginnings…2013 really is the year for a fresh start.
One of the reasons that we don’t achieve our goals is that our target goals simply aren’t exciting enough to capture our attention and motivate us take action over the long haul. Our goals just are not potent enough. They lack energy, pizazz and the thrill of an “impossible” challenge.
Instead of relying on the habit of rehashing your lukewarm ,lackluster worn out goals and resolutions from past years and declaring these tired “should” goals as what you will aim for in 2013, why not do it differently this year?
Do any of these goals sound familiar?
I’m going to get fit this year.
I am going to lose weight this year.
I want to make more money this year.
I want to find my soul mate.
Let’s be truthful, none of these goals has any “juice”. I dare you to drop the boring, stand-by goals that you’ve been adding to your list of to-do’s every year and step out and set some goals that are powerful. Why not set some goals that scare you a little bit ( or a lot!) Choose to declare goals that are audacious, exciting and important to you. This is your life. What are you waiting for?
Here’s where to start:
1. Self-reflection- Carve out quiet time for you in the next week so you can let yourself dream again. With pen and paper handy, write down the different areas of your life to help you to identify some of the goals you have. Most of us create goals in these main areas of life: health, money, work,relationships, community, fun and adventure + spirituality. Jot down ideas that come to you. Don’t edit yourself or try talk yourself out of a goal.
2. Brainstorm- Here’s even more fun… be playful and bold with the ideas that you are generating for each of the areas in your life. Tell the truth. The real truth. What do you really want to experience? To do? To be. To have in 2013?
3.Decide- Now it’s time to craft your blueprint for 2013. What are the goals that get your blood flowing, your heart racing and uplift your energy?
If you previous wishy-washy goal was to get fit... this year’s version might be: I will compete in a tango contest and do whatever it takes to make this happen!
Want to give back to your community and make a difference? Maybe this year’s goal is to spearhead a cause that is near and dear to your heart because of a loved one’s personal challenge. Maybe you decide to establish your own foundation?
If you want to make more money in your business- why not decide to become a leader in your industry? ( This goals has a completely different set of strategies associated with it than increasing your bottom line by 10 percent!)
Life is good for you, but not very exciting or full of adventure? Decide to set a goal that knocks your socks off. Perhaps this is the year you spend a week, a month or ( gasp, more!) in Paris, Auckland or Dominica? Climb Kilimanjaro? Meditate in a Monastery?
These are the goals that your heart and soul thank you for. These are also the kinds of goals that will push you to your edge, challenge you and bring out your best. These blockbuster goals that make us sweat,feel self doubt and trigger our inner critic’s nagging voice which says things like: ” you can’t do this!” “you don’t have enough time” you don’t know how”” “this is too big”, outlandish” or it’s impossible”
Take a deep breath- soothe your inner critic by acknowledging your feelings, and then give yourself the permission to live your life to it’s fullest starting right now. Get busy designing your plans. I love this inspirational quote, “if you shoot for the moon, you’ll land among the stars” It speaks to all of us especially at the beginning of a new year. The time for all of us is now….
Here’s to a truly remarkable year for you in 2013. Choose it for you. Doing so will change your life and benefit others, too.
We all have competing selves and competing commitments. Psychologists call it“cognitive dissonance”; a state of discomfort that we experience when we say we want one thing but do another.
It’s also called “resistance”.
A slim little book that I highly recommend to clients and friends alike is The War of Art- How to Breakhrough the Blocks and Win your Inner Creative Battles” by Steven Pressfield, well known writer of The Legend of Bagger Vance among many others. The focus of this book is how to break loose of the grip that resistance has on our lives.
Resistance wears many disguises. We unconsciously choose from elaborate systems of distractions, denial, addictions, shopping, watching tv, gossiping, chasing yet another “shiny object” and other behaviors that keep us occupied and not feeling our feelings.
What feelings, you may ask?
We go to great lengths to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings. Truth is that if you are going to make a big change in your life, it’s going to provoke some of your “stuff”. Your “stuff” ( not a clinical term :)) are those feelings of “not enough”- I’m not smart enough, I”m not good enough, I’m not deserving”, I’m overwhelmed etc etc.
Here’s how it happens. You set your goal: ask for more money, launch a new product, increase your company sales, lose weight or stick to an exercise program. You’re excited and motivated to achieve this particular goal. You make an action plan and start taking action. Then a day,or week or two pass and you stop following through with said action steps. You are too busy, tired, pre-occupied, etc etc. Your inner dialogue is beating you up. You give up and the goal gets put on the back burner.
This pattern of starting and not finishing is downright painful. Most people deal with living in inconsistencies, denial, and constantly battling with inner selves.
Though it doesn’t have to be this way.
The first step is to identify your strongest desires and goals AND identify your competing drives. ( You may need to dig a little to understand why you are self-sabotaging)
For example, if your goal is to lose weight, you’ll want to look at why you are where you are right now. How has extra weight served you? Maybe if you are heavier, you stay home more and don’t socialize, keeping you “safe” Perhaps eating is a way for you to calm down your stress. Maybe you associate delicious meals with friendship and connection. There are actually good reasons why we keep doing what we say we want to change. Payoffs can be forms of protection and comfort.
Another good question to ask yourself: What will it cost me if I don’t make this change?
Most of us have goals that we have resistance to. When we name it, we can address it.
By addressing the underlying factors of our goals, we can then create an action plan that will actually work! We can choose differently. We can be successful.
Be sure to revise your goals and priorities to honor both sides of your personality. And believe me, both sides of you will absolutely love you for it!
WBECS 2012 is here!
Successful coaching goes hand-in-hand with thought leadership…
As with many industries, the coaching industry has changed over the past year or so.
There’s just too much information (TMI)…
Noise and hype from so-called “experts” guaranteed to make you waste money and time.
This online summit is the real deal,featuring well respected experts and it starts next week on May 1,2012 for the kickoff series.
World Business and Executive Coach Pre-Summit May 1st, 2012
Over 7,000 listened in from the comfort of their own homes + offices.
An industry first…
Top experts under one “virtual” roof, making sure all in attendance got:
- Maximum value
- Executive training
- Great strategies and advice.
This year, the online summit will be better than ever, with another all-star lineup.
If you’d like to sneak a peak, you can attend the FREE via the pre-Summit series of sessions.
Click on this link to register:
A small selection of thought leaders presenting at the summit will include:
- Sir John Whitmore—pre-eminent thinker in leadership and organizational change
- Verne Harnish—named one of the “Top 10 Minds in Small Business” by Fortune magazine
- Dr. (VG) Vijay Govindarajan—world’s leading expert on strategy and innovation
- Dr. Marshall Goldsmith—#1 leadership and #7 business thinker in the world…2011 Thinkers 50 ceremony.
WBECS has one simple mission in mind:
To dramatically elevate the impact of business and executive coaches the world over…
If you’re on board with that, you won’t want to miss THE online coaching industry event of the year—WBECS 2012…
Sign up today to reserve your spot.
I’ll be there,too!
Many people view the brain as a mysterious structure incapable of change. However, with the help of advancing brain scanning technology, we now know that our brains are continually learning and processing.
We can boost our memory, retention and ability to learn new skills and concepts by using these 8 strategies. Pick one or two strategies this week to uplevel your own successes.
Eight Success Strategies:
- Self-Awareness: Know your strengths and develop them, so you can reach your goals. Select goals that intrinsically motivate your unique passions and drive, so that you fulfill your own definition of a meaningful life.
- Emotional Regulation: Thoughts and beliefs affect feelings and subsequent behaviors. Reflect upon how your self-esteem and your world directly affect your feeling and actions. If you are not satisfied with it, take steps to change it.
- Cognitive Reframing: Repeatedly engaging in negative thoughts and actions results in undesirable brain alterations; actively engaging in positive thoughts and actions leads to beneficial ones. You won’t always achieve your goals, but you can benefit from failure. Put positive spin on those failures and start a change from them which in turn changes the brain and primes it to be resilient and motivated.
- Deliberate Practice: London taxi drivers train very hard to memorize city street addresses and in doing so enlarge certain areas of their brains. Musicians experience that same brain growth in other areas. We all do. The key is to keep practicing in spite of setbacks.
- Meditation: An interesting thought: Practicing even small doses of daily meditation can improve your focus and attention. You don’t have to be a Zen master; sitting calmly for several minutes is a start. Try to add a minute to your meditation every time you try it.
- Physical Exercise: A regular exercise program increases your focus, improves learning and memory, reduces impulsivity, enhances mood, and lowers stress and even helps the brain improve its functioning. As little as 20 minutes of cardio exercise releases BDNF, a chemical neurotransmitter, which support the growth of new neurons; this enables you to learn even more.
- Nutrition: What’s good for the heart is also great for the brain. Fruits and vegetables, low fat sources of protein, berries, apples, fish and omega oils all are needed provide for a healthy successful brain.
- Sleep: Sleep is vital for optimal brain function; it helps restore the balance of communication between reasoning and emotional centers and even improves your memory.
A very popular and effective tool is creating your own dream board ( also referred to as a vision board). This is the PERFECT time to create yours and I’ve provided some easy tips to help you to get started.
Making your own vision/dream board is very effective tool to use to get out of your “head” about your goals, and to visually represent your goals in a way that inspires and motivates you. What makes this technique so powerful is that using visual imagery allows us to bypass our intellect and suspend our disbelief about our ability to achieve our goals. Seeing our ‘dreams” as symbols and images, it is easy to accept and integrate into our subconscious mind. Many people faithfully use this process to help facilitate speedy realization of their goals and dreams. ( Myself included!)
Here are 6 quick tips to get you started on your own success board today. Remember the old saying; a picture is worth a thousand words!
1.Gather your Materials– Poster board, scissors, glue sticks, magazines
2.Write down a list of your goals & determine your theme for your board- Common goal categories are financial, relationships,community,career, spirituality,adventure,fun and creativity. ( tip: you can create more than one board. Some people have boards for their business, their personal life, and some create one board that represents all of their goals.
3.Light a candle, have a latté- Turn on music you love and enjoy this process. Fully express your creativity. ( tip; this is a very fun group project)
4.Rules for Vision Boarding- Gotcha, there are no rules! Allow your subconscious mind to connect to what truly resonates for you. Let the images you are attracted to as you flip through the pages of the magazine “speak” to you. This is actually a way for your logical mind to take a rest and let your subconscious ideas to come forward.
5.Visual Imagery– Find visual representations of your goals: clip all art, images, quotes, and keywords that describe or show your important goals. Assemble and glue your images in a way that is pleasing to you. ( Tip: Cut and paste a few pictures of you and place them onto your board)
6.Display Your Board- Proudly showcase your board, you are actually “feeding” your subconscious mind these powerful images, bypassing your inner critic’s message that you can’t have what you want. Let your vision board, with pictures of your goals and dreams serve to remind, inspire and motivate you towards your personal achievements. Vision/Dream Boards have worked for thousands of people. It can work for you,too.
With New Year’s Eve just around the corner, this next week is the perfect time to take a pause, sip a glass of wine and do a personal year review. Be honest. How did last year go? What went well? What didn’t? Here are some excellent questions to help you close out 2011 and get clear about what you DO want for 2012.
What was the best thing that happened in 2011?
What accomplishments were most meaningful? Why?
What inspired me the most?
What did I learn?
What was the smartest decision I made?
What word, phrase or theme describes my year?
What was the most challenging in 2011?
What do I need to let go of?
What was my biggest surprise?
What are three things I am most grateful for?
What brought me the most joy?
What would I like to have done more of?
What nurtures my spirit?
Have you noticed that your best ideas seem to show up “out of nowhere”, unannounced and often unbidden?
Brain research reveals that creative thinking comes from our right-brain, the part of our brain that is intuitive and instinctive.
Daniel Pink, the author of A Whole New Mind, states that the era of “left brain” dominance is giving way to a more integrated approach that includes and values the gifts of our right-brain; creativity and intuition. This blending of both sides of our brain allow for, as Pink suggests, a whole new world. A whole new world of possibilities.
Sometimes all it takes is one good idea.Right?
Consider what one good idea could do for you such as:
solve a business dilemma that is keeping you awake at night
make you a sweet bundle of money
show you how to combine two of your favorite activities into a viable business
The possibilities are endless. An article in Wired magazine was quoted to say” right- brainers will rule the future”. It’s easy to get caught up in left-brain, linear mode but sometimes, the missing ingredient is the creative edge which makes all the difference.
Here are 3 quick tips on how to nurture your right-brain + boost your creative potential starting today…
1. Set up daily routines– By putting ordinary things on auto-pilot,we are able to conserve valuable psychic and physical energy so that we have room for our creative ideas surface.
2. Be in nature- a walk in the woods or sitting on a park bench is akin to rolling out the welcome mat to our creativity. Say, hello to your inner brilliance!
3.Be different- Try new foods, read books in an unusual genre,go a new way to work, meet new people. These novel experiences activate your right brain. You’ll see things differently and find yourself coming up with new ways of thinking and doing.
I’ve noticed that when a new client and I begin to work together that one of the first “aha’s” for my client is that their priorities are out of whack.
What they say they value and what is important to them is often not a match to what they spend time on daily basis.
That’s a big problem.
One of the quickest and best ways to get this back on track is to make a list of what is most important to you, eg. your family, your friends, your community involvement, your hobbies, your spirituality, your work projects, goals, travel etc etc.
From this master list of important elements, prioritize them in order of importance.
This week keep track of your time. What are you spending time on? Is what you spend time on a match to your priorities?
It’s easy to be busy checking things off a master to do list, but ask yourself: is what I am spending time on key to increasing my priorities such as boosting my cash flow or furthering my lifestyle goals?
Try this little,yet powerful technique of telling the truth about what you spend your time on. Do a quick review and make the tweaks to your calender. This will quickly help you to take control, to get your life back in alignment. I’d love to hear what shifts for you as a result!