Do you have a relationship that you wish was better- such as your co-worker, your partner, or a family member?
Most of us would answer that with an emphatic yes!
Relationships that are strong and healthy add so much fulfillment to our lives. Yet, when relationships are “off” (especially our closest relationships), they become a source of frustration and stress. You want it to be better, yet you don’t know how to make that happen, and the frustration and unhappiness can drag on for too long…sometimes to the point of ending the relationship.
There is a solution.
Here is how to elevate important relationships with a simple yet powerful tool called the 5:1 Ratio.
The Gottman Institute, located in Seattle, Washington, has been researching the difference between happy and unhappy couples since the 1970s. They’ve been able to observe couples and predict with over 90% accuracy which couples would stay together and which would divorce.
What did they know that gave them this high degree of accuracy?
It’s the 5:1 Ratio.
What is this? The magic 5:1 Ratio refers to the number of positive interactions to negative interactions. When the couple demonstrated five positives to one negative interaction consistently (especially in their disagreements), their relationship was observed to be stronger and healthier.
Consistent positive behaviors make a significant difference in the quality of trust, intimacy, and safety in the relationship.
The key to taking your relationship to the Next-Level is becoming more intentional. We are all human, and we may say or act in ways we regret in our relationships. The Gottman research shows us that it is not about being a perfect human, but rather by being more conscious and intentional within our relationships.
Even though the research is based on married couples, the discovery of this 5:1 algorithm can be applied to all or our relationships.
Choose a relationship that you would like to take to the Next-Level and use these three easy steps:
- Be aware of how you show up in the relationship. Do you take the relationship for granted? Do you tend to judge or criticize? Are you more focused on the positive or the negative?
- Be deliberate and make positive deposits into the relationship– these are behaviors such as demonstrating caring, support, empathy, humor, affirmation, and appreciation.
- Be transparent – initiate a conversation to let your person know that they are important to you and that you commit to showing them that, and ASK what can do to be a better friend, spouse or friend. (You might even tell them about the 5:1 ratio and decide you’ll both commit to using it!)
Ready to create your Next-Level Life?
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